Marital Reflections T-Shirts

"I'm not sure I've explored all my marriage options!"

"Christmas should be a time to show how much we care for one another."

The Map of the Human Heart

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"Why won't you cuddle?"

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

"We're only staying together for the sake of our marriage guidance counsellor."

'You do make me laugh, Ron, but a relationship can't survive on laughter alone.'

'Will I still be married?'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

"We were so happy doc. . . but then she changed!"

"It's not that we had more fun before we got married --- it's just that now we're having a different kind of fun."

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

Love chair

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

"I mean it this time Brian, it's either me or the jazz!"

"There's men for you: here today, gone today!"

"You're a lot easier to live with once your antlers fall off."

"Quite frankly, I've had a gut-full of all his Shakespearean drama!"

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

"No one rides off into me anymore."

'In defense of forgetting our anniversary, I forgot we're married.'

'The only thing we have in common anymore is the kids are driving us both nuts!'

'None for me, thanks. It might improve my mood.'

'... all you have to say is QUACK, QUACK, QUACK!'

"If you want a positive outlook, you're going to have to turn you chair around."

Sadie, why have you been cheating on Mort? I needed to spice things up. Amanda Kern. Comics counseling. Mort and I have been together for years and we just don't argue the way we used to. Argue? I mean, sure, we fight but not with any real intensity. I'm confused. We've lost that loathing feeling. It's gone, gone, gone.