Relationship Communicator Pillows

"Both of you are still poles apart."

In the Guru District

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"You've changed."

Relationship Warning Lights

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Any questions?"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Couples' therapy

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'Great Therapy!'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."