Relationship Commenter Pillows

"What about me? Am I not a natural disaster?"

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

Well, if being married isn't grounds for divorce, I'd like to know what is"

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

'Huh! You men are all alike!'

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

'Instead of nagging you, Walter, I've decided to write a syndicated column!'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

'Well that's a load off my mind. Osborne's cutting the 50p tax rate.'

"I don't see what you see in him."

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

"Long time commenter, first time reader. . ."

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Don't forget to come back."

'So, did your marriage counseling work?', 'It sure did! -- She ran off with the marriage counselor!'

'Nothing about equal opportunity?'

"Now who's being judgy?"

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

'Could you speak up Mrs Jones, I didn't hear what the problem is...'

'I'm no good at sports, so I'll just have to settle for a trophy wife.'

"It's over between us Brian. . . as soon as I've announced it on twitter."

"I said I was sorry. No need to bite my head off!"

"I liked you better as my first husband."