Relationship Champs Pillows

'We're a team - he walks the walk, and I talk the talk!'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'Lost that loving feeling. If found, call 555-1234.'

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

'...Do you, Thomas, take Charleen as your wife, to love and cherish, for better of worse...use Rehab as may be needed...for as long as you both shall live?'

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

Lifesaver!

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"It's not you-it's me."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

Couple

"Hey, Honey, our life cycle is too short to play hard to get."

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"Arouse Me!"

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

"I might remind you, John, that 'Lorraine never stops yakking' is not yet grounds for divorce in the state of Ohio."

A man sews broken hearts back together.

Same Sex Wedding

'He looks set in his ways, but I can change him.'

'Yes, it is important - wake him up!'

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

The band was really swinging, providing a nice cover for Andrew and Carolyn's argument.

'Instead of nagging you, Walter, I've decided to write a syndicated column!'

Tough Love Birds

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"Why don't we compromise... you admit I'm right and I'll agree with you."