Relationship Architect Gifts

"Sonny, never burn your bridges or delete your data base."

"You do like octopus?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

The best financial decision I ever made.

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

Building business relations.

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"My computer just texted me."

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

Awkward First Dates

Relationships.

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

"What do you mean it could've been better?"

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

Hollywood Breakup

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'