Relational Humor Aficionado Gifts

"I noticed you've packed the gallery with your relatives."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"You're hogging the covers again!"

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

'Sorry, but my car is a hybrid and I wouldn't accept anything less in a husband.'

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"She just rolled over and started snoring!"

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

"Mum, Dad... I'd like you to meet my fiance, Goldilocks."

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

Prison Romance.

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

"We can deal with many heart related issues apart from 'a heart torn asunder by the meretricious behavior of a mendacious lover.'"

'I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer.'

What do I want out of our relationship? Same thing anyone wants. Good value.

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

"Well yes, pretty and kind were big factors, but her nitpicking abilities are what really won me over..."