Relatable Humor Fan Gifts

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"First date hairball... awkward."

The Brothers Grime

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

10 K Tail-Chase

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

The Snooze Bar.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

A Golden Non-Retriever

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

No, I don

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'More government surveillance!'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

tRUMp, Pirate President

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'