Relatable Humorist Pillows

Flo tries to look dignified while waiting to hand in her stool sample.

"It's outside, waiting for her inside of his convertible."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"You're going to hate yourself."

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

Grimm's Reality Tales.

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'