Regret Ponderers Gifts

"Sometimes I wish I went to a magnet school."

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

'I could have made money in the stock market if I had only found the right 'How to invest' book...'

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

'Middle managers play tennis.'

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

"I just wish I hadn't spent most of my life reading the comments below online news articles"

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

The Ekert Saga: 'Are you nuts?! If someone locked me in a shed, I'd be furious and want to get revenge!!... Then again, getting angry doesn't make things any better...'

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

A man, walking towards the intersection of ‘Easy Street' and 'Harms Way', runs into the Grim Reaper.

I Do Not have OCD

Waking up with a terrible hangover, Joe took a minute to remember what he'd done last night...he spent the rest of his life trying to forget.

How Human Nature Works: 'Ok...Now I'm worried.'

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

"Johnny, strikes out, and will be thinking about this well into his thirties."

Penalty Box. Shouldn't there also be a "reward" box? I've been nice most of the game!

Other Walks of Shame

'On second thought, let's just be friends.'

"If you never date a prediction it can't be proved wrong."

'What do you want first - the bad news or the even worse news?'

"Stop getting depressed about the past, you've got to move on."

Institute for Advanced Hindsight - Research into what should have been.

'This whole Bible thing sounds like a conspiracy theory to me!'

"In 5 years I see myself wishing it was 10 years ago."

"He's retired, which means too much husband and not enough money."

The End Was Near.

'If you could go back in time, what would you do differently?' 'Order the chicken.'

'I was sentenced to 500 hours community service- right now, I'm a park bench'

"Now, of course, I have to question the validity of that particular decision."

Neck tattoo changed from "NO REGRETS" to "REGRETS"

'It's easy to tell conventional churches from cults, because we ask for 10%, while cults demand 100%.'