Regatta Humorist Gifts

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

Pirates at the mall.

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

Walking the Plank.

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Man painting MOM on boat

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'Click it or ticket.'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'We're drifting apart.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

Fish near-death experiences.

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'