Regal Football Fan Pillows

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

King George I

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

TV jester.

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Uptight End"

"Wanna toss the ol' virtual pigskin?"

'The King of what?'

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Archaeologists discover a football

King and Jester

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

'Now what?!'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

"One blackbird pizza?"

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

"...and if any of you are opposed to my being king of the snake pit, raise your hands now!"

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'

"Go deep!"

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'