Regal Enthusiasts Pillows

'We're never going to get any sleep at night until you hire a call screener!'

'I've misplaced my keys to the kingdom.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'Now that's an afro!'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

"She wishes to range free!"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'I screwed up royally!'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'