Regal Football Fan Gifts

The spanish coronation

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

King George I

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

TV jester.

"Wanna toss the ol' virtual pigskin?"

"Uptight End"

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'The King of what?'

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Archaeologists discover a football

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

King and Jester

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

'Now what?!'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

The Royal Wii.

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"One blackbird pizza?"

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

'Touchdown!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"...and if any of you are opposed to my being king of the snake pit, raise your hands now!"

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

A well-known poet lives on this street. Building Supplies. I just need one. She authored a prize-winning screenplay. That offensive lineman is a novelist. My journalist friend is rejecting calls from my number. It's frustrating. I just can't escape writer's block.

'You're going to make the railroads run on time? -- Since when do we have railroads?'