Festive Football Fan Gifts

"Seeing as you've been so generous giving goals away lately, you're down to play Santa at the Christmas party!"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

If nobody had invented graphics

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Football

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"I love these old decorations!"

"Uptight End"

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

"Anything but milk and cookies."