Redundancy Rejecter Pillows

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Menu Dating

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

St. Elmo's fired.

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

'We'll add extra to your severance package if you promise to go to work for our competition.'

'I interview well, but only for exit interviews.'

"Come out, Snivers, it's a decent enough redundancy package."

"You're all redundant."

'We're keeping Edwards because he forwards the funnier e-mails.'

'Hold the Ferguson report. Ed's had enough information for the day.'

"Don't bother replying. That's YOUR job being advertised."

"I have some character-building news for you."

Turkey going away for Christmas.

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

'Money DOES make me happy.'

'You are a credit to the human race, Yardsley. Unfortunately, you're a liability to this firm.'

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

"Trevor, you've been an asset to the company for the past ten years, but it's time for a fresh face..."

"Dead man walking!"

'I hear Jenkins is going after your job...'

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

'I wonder what this means...they've gift-wrapped my pay cheque.'

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow...

"You have two options for leaving the firm, either pursue other options or go in another direction..."