Red Tape Satirists Gifts

Smalltown USA: Red ink.

'Let's not go by the book.'

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'I hope you have planning permission for that?'

"Staff are always complaining about supposed bureaucracy, but if no one completed form M74/cd3 then how would we know how many M74/cd3’s had been filled out!"

Distractions: Work Disputes

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

'Item 56(B), we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have a meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings!'

"Yeah, but no progress in meeting..."

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

Planning permission REFUSED...

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

'Failure is not an option. But inaction due to foot-dragging and red tape is a definite possibility.'

"It can cut through anything ... well, almost anything. There still is governmental red tape."

"So we are four days into the new Procurement Act. How are you feeling?"/"I am ok and everything seems to be fine, but I miss the anticipation."

Happy holidays from the IRS! To celebrate we've switched our usual red tape to red ribbon!

Bureaucrat Walking his Pet

A day at the UN.

'Does he mean before or after the needs survey?'

'It's an EIEIO!'

"What do people mean when they say the recruitment process was 'opaque'?

'Building Inspectors During Their Off Hours.'

'It's the paperwork you need to fill out to show that we're focussing on patients needs.'

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

"Jenkins, rumor has it there are people outside this meeting who are doing actual work. Go find out."

"Have you read this report? Staff are spending 60% of their time on admin!"

Man's house has sign reading 'Sod the council'. His neighbour says: 'Frankly, I'm amazed you got planning permission.'