Red Tape Rebels Gifts

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

"So we are four days into the new Procurement Act. How are you feeling?"/"I am ok and everything seems to be fine, but I miss the anticipation."

"People are ALWAYS moaning about excessive paperwork."

"The survey suggested that overly bureaucratic management is a major cause of staff stress..."

"The ruddy inland revenue is planning to tax subsidised lunches now."

'It's the paperwork you need to fill out to show that we're focussing on patients needs.'

'I'd sort of like to simplify my life myself, but I resent the government doing it!'

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

'Fill these out.'

Unorthodox in their methods, the Vojvodina Rippers cut through red tape fast.

'Let's not go by the book.'

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

'I hope you have planning permission for that?'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Distractions: Work Disputes

"Staff are always complaining about supposed bureaucracy, but if no one completed form M74/cd3 then how would we know how many M74/cd3’s had been filled out!"

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"

'Item 56(B), we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have a meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings!'

"Yeah, but no progress in meeting..."

Climbing in the Bureaucracy.

"Sure, you can use the bathroom. But, you have to put your request in writing and send three copies to the personnel department."

Planning permission REFUSED...

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

Diabolical bureaucratic management