Red Tape Wranglers Gifts

"Let's derail this! So use passive voice, express vague concerns, and call for a follow-on working group."

Grief from above.

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

I can't accept a note from your doctor unless your doctor has a note from your insurance agent.

How a Civil Servant saved mankind...

'Let's not go by the book.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

Quality Control

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'Should be home soon. I'm just clearing away the usual paperwork.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

Tied up in red tape.

An astronaut sees a sign saying zoning in force.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

'I hope you have planning permission for that?'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

"I told my manager that I couldn't cope with the endless mind numbing paperwork. I said I'd had enough of the bureaucracy, that I had to get out."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

If the NHS designed cars...They'd probably be the worst cars in the world.

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

Fed up with unnecessary bureaucracy?...what people don't appreciate is that if they don't fill out their C90D then how can we POSSIBLY know how many C90ds there ARE!

Distractions: Work Disputes

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

'The government is keen not to interfere with private enterprise.'

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to get approval from the offices of Terminology, Evidence, Proof of Demand, Documentation, Measurement and Predictions before I can even think about signing off."

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'