Red Tape Unravelers Gifts

Where would we be without the right documentation? Unemployed!

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'Of course there are more bureaucrats than field workers! It's more fun to create regulation, than to actually enforce it!'

To The Sorry For The Inconvenience Department

Heartless Taxation Department

Committee Room Directions

"I downloaded this public sector tender we should consider bidding for. I’m hoping that these new Procurement Regulations will make it a less tortuous exercise." "Based on that first page I suggest nothing has changed..."

NHS management

'Let's not go by the book.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

Quality Control

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

'Should be home soon. I'm just clearing away the usual paperwork.'

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

Tied up in red tape.

An astronaut sees a sign saying zoning in force.

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

'I hope you have planning permission for that?'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

Fed up with unnecessary bureaucracy?...what people don't appreciate is that if they don't fill out their C90D then how can we POSSIBLY know how many C90ds there ARE!

"I told my manager that I couldn't cope with the endless mind numbing paperwork. I said I'd had enough of the bureaucracy, that I had to get out."

Distractions: Work Disputes

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

If the NHS designed cars...They'd probably be the worst cars in the world.

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

'This is the questionnaire we need everyone to fill out about their views on excessive bureaucracy.'

'The government is keen not to interfere with private enterprise.'

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to get approval from the offices of Terminology, Evidence, Proof of Demand, Documentation, Measurement and Predictions before I can even think about signing off."