Red Tape Comedian Gifts

'Having undertaken a lengthy and comprehensive review of the issues surrounding the lack of progress in implementing the policy in question...'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

Quality Control

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

'Should be home soon. I'm just clearing away the usual paperwork.'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

An astronaut sees a sign saying zoning in force.

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

"I told my manager that I couldn't cope with the endless mind numbing paperwork. I said I'd had enough of the bureaucracy, that I had to get out."

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

"Staff are always complaining about supposed bureaucracy, but if no one completed form M74/cd3 then how would we know how many M74/cd3’s had been filled out!"

Fed up with unnecessary bureaucracy?...what people don't appreciate is that if they don't fill out their C90D then how can we POSSIBLY know how many C90ds there ARE!

'The government is keen not to interfere with private enterprise.'

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to get approval from the offices of Terminology, Evidence, Proof of Demand, Documentation, Measurement and Predictions before I can even think about signing off."

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

"You had the persistence to wind your way through our labyrinthian phone system to ask for an interview...you're hired!"

'The fact that the expenses process is complicated confusing and bureaucratic isn't an Aberration.'

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

See District Directors

"People whinge about the irrelevance and duplication of paperwork, but if the forms aren't filled out how are we supposed to know how many forms have been completed?"

Federal Bureau of Bureaucrats: 'Regulation - the mother's milk of politics!'

"Check out my free white paper!"

Colin finds it difficult to let go of paperwork.

'Send this back to the legal department. I think they could make it much more complicated than this...'

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

'Failure is not an option. But inaction due to foot-dragging and red tape is a definite possibility.'

'The idea bureaucracy is on the increase is RIDICULOUS... and I have the reports to prove it!'

Two men who work for The Federal Department of Bureaucracy look at chart 'Things to Pretend to do Today'

Department to Control Government Growth - 'We need more room.'