Red Tape Humorist Gifts

Floor Wet When Slippery

Office for Budgie Responsibility.

Bureaucrat

"If you want to know the time, I'll have to refer you to the press office."

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

"Staff are always complaining about supposed bureaucracy, but if no one completed form M74/cd3 then how would we know how many M74/cd3’s had been filled out!"

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

"Yeah, but no progress in meeting..."

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

'Failure is not an option. But inaction due to foot-dragging and red tape is a definite possibility.'

A day at the UN.

"It can cut through anything ... well, almost anything. There still is governmental red tape."

'Does he mean before or after the needs survey?'

"No, this is the department for obfuscation, hindrance, confusion and prevarication...you want the department for sophistry, incomprehension, fudging and evasiveness!!"

"Here's our environmental audit. . ."

'Building Inspectors During Their Off Hours.'

Roller skater see a sign: Nightmareville Pop. 5679 Beware Of Government Red Tape

"Jenkins, rumor has it there are people outside this meeting who are doing actual work. Go find out."

"No, you can't see Mr. Smith without an appointment! But I can make you an appointment to make an appointment!"

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

"These are the forms you need to fill out to show that our primary focus is client care."

Office worker on phone: 'If you could just email me the faxes of the photocopies of the transcripts of the fifteen phone messages in question, that would probably be the simplest.'

'Before they give us the funding they want to see a 3 year blind study, peer reviewed and carried out by a recognised academic authority . . .'

"Some call it 'traditions', others call it 'useless specifications', 'unrealistic targets' and 'ineffective work processes'."

"I really believe red tape is the future!"

"Don't worry, this is a bureaucracy. You won't be fired, you'll just be moved to another desk."

"Thanks to this innovative, state-of-the-art communication system, we can now support an even slower bureucracy'"

"Application is online only - if you've money for a computer to do so - you'll fail the means test!"

'It's our job to keep things at a manageable pace through strategic application of bureaucratic inertia.'

Redundant civil servant begging - 'Please fill-in these forms and attach to your payment, thank you'.

"We are planning on thinking about setting up a preliminary consultative group to consider getting together to start working out where 'there' might be."

"Your appointment's at 2:00 but you'll need to be here by 11:00 to start filling out the forms."

Immigration desk with only in trays.