Comedic Red Tape Enthusiast Gifts

Bureaucrat

'Let's not go by the book.'

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'I hope you have planning permission for that?'

"Staff are always complaining about supposed bureaucracy, but if no one completed form M74/cd3 then how would we know how many M74/cd3’s had been filled out!"

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Distractions: Work Disputes

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"

'Item 56(B), we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have a meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings!'

"Why don't you ever do any positive stories about government dysfunction?"

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

Diabolical bureaucratic management

Planning permission REFUSED...

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

"It can cut through anything ... well, almost anything. There still is governmental red tape."

Happy holidays from the IRS! To celebrate we've switched our usual red tape to red ribbon!

'Does he mean before or after the needs survey?'

Bureaucrat Walking his Pet

A day at the UN.

'It's an EIEIO!'

'Building Inspectors During Their Off Hours.'

"What do people mean when they say the recruitment process was 'opaque'?

"Have you read this report? Staff are spending 60% of their time on admin!"

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

"Jenkins, rumor has it there are people outside this meeting who are doing actual work. Go find out."

"OK team, what are we not going to accomplish today?"

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

Man's house has sign reading 'Sod the council'. His neighbour says: 'Frankly, I'm amazed you got planning permission.'

Office worker on phone: 'If you could just email me the faxes of the photocopies of the transcripts of the fifteen phone messages in question, that would probably be the simplest.'

'I have something to tell you, Moses...'

'Before they give us the funding they want to see a 3 year blind study, peer reviewed and carried out by a recognised academic authority . . .'