Red Meat Rebel Gifts

'Give me some sausages, I want to end it all.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Lockdown casserole

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

Chocs away.

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

"I'm unable to process this image."

"I really got used to working from home."

'Think' 'But not too much'

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

Daily Routine

"Fridge-to-table"

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"I'm turning into my mother, and it's awesome!"

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Recipes.

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"Sure, my dad and my granddad and my granddad's dad were all domesticated. But that doesn't mean I have to be."