Recruitment Cynic Pillows

Personnel

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

"Nihilistic customer service"

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

The Forever Stamp

"I've given up trying to be on top of things."

If all else fails, give up.

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Famous Oxymorons...

Wow. A corner office at last

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

There's a lot of money flowing into political campaigns. I'm less concerned about money in politics than I am that none of it trickles down to me.

'You're too big to fail and be fired, but too small to move up to the job you'd like'

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

'You don't understand, Hartwell -- the handshake WAS your Christmas bonus.'

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

Jones, Needham, Pinkner, Fortney - Just doing their jobs.

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

'I go to college -- What do you do for a living?'

"The candidates this year are really honest."

'Huh! Nobody home!'

'Leave us your suggestions here.' (The suggestion box is a shredder)

Born Cynical,,,,

Man at a desk in Performance Review Dept. has a cannon in the 'OUT' box pointing out the window lights cannon.

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

"You remind me very much of myself when I was your age, Carter, and there is no way that this company would employ such a person."

Find the failed CEO who got a 200 million dollar bonus while being fired.

'I hate my boss!...'

The Side Effect of Self-Awareness

"It's time I cleaned out the 'yes' men in my organization- right boys?"

"I've given him your message. If you'll just take a seat, he'll be out in a moment with his hands up."

"I was thinking about leaving until I found out they were going to waterboard me during the exit interview."

*2020