Recruitment Consultants Gifts

'We do require human references, if possible!'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"What do you mean it's not 'Thong Thursday?'"

"Who's next?"

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

Your resume says you were a waiter...

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"