Recruitment Consultant Gifts

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

'Old boy' tells black woman at interview: 'We fully embrace diversity here - we even have a chap who didn't go to Eton.'

'You must be the new guy, huh?'

"Lots of people will lose their jobs to robots, but I don't think they can ever replace us!"

'He came in for a job interview three hours ago, and I made the mistake of telling him to make himself comfortable.'

'I asked my boss if I could use him as a character reference...'

"We couldn't hire the cybersecurity candidate you sent us, he was saying too many scary things about our computers."

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

'We base our HR policies on jungle rules.'

'So you don't think generously subsidised biscuits will be enough?'

'...No it's Malcom from ***** after someone with autocad experience in elecro-mechanical design.'

"I'm still not sure whether you've offered me a job!"

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

"First of all, this is a very casual workplace."

"Your resume, under 'experience' states that you once owned a piggy bank. Tell me about that."

'We can't find a small enough company where you'd be a big fish.'

"What's your biggest weakness?"

'Your resume is very impressive. We can't hire you but we don't want you to get away, so we're going to lock you in a closed for six months.'

Job Hunting.

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Are you up to seeing somebody with a ponytail?

Better deal in the private sector.

'Job satisfaction is up, because there are fewer jobs.'

"This position requires someone with a thick skin... Well, do you think you're up to the job, big nose?"

Tonight's Lecture: Employment Trends. Let's face it, Ernie --- the only lifetime employment we can expect is working on our resumes.

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'