Recovery Realist Gifts

"You say that the best thing I could do for my health is to give up alcohol. Let's talk about the second best..."

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

World Production.

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

COVID Devotion

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

'Could I have a doggie bag?'

Recession

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Squeezing a tight budget...

Retirement Issues

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

"Goodbye cruel world."

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

US Dollar weakens.

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

'They had a sale on electric green.'

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"Didn't we have a door over there?"

"Who would have thought retirement would be this much fun."

'The bad news is that the dollar is down -- the good news is that nobody seems to have any.'

'Management doesn't think we have a staffing problem...Apparently all we need to do is to use our imagination.'

Working in recovery of Hurricane

'Look at my new overdraft its fantastic.'

Physiotherapist tells Humpty Dumpty: 'OK, you've had a great fall, but we'll have you back on that wall in no time.'