Recognition Gurus Gifts

'We'll parachute in and surprise them with their sales award.'

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

Preying mantis marriage councellor.

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

'I'm sorry, but you have a very impressive resume, and at this company, we find competence threatening.'

'Any recommendations besides these report cards saying you work well with others?'

"It's hard to manage a staff meeting in a company whose employees all have laser pointers."

Express Therapy

"It's only fair. He has a man cave."

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

We're looking at better ways to share our knowledge & expertise. But I'm not going to tell you what they are.'

'We're looking for someone who can multitask - but not during the interview.'

'There are lots of fish in the sea.'

'Yes, I am looking for an ambitious person and no,I don't have any plans to retire in the near future.'

"I think we might already have lost the next set of graduates, they don't see us offering a career path..."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"It's all about compromise. He's not dishwasher safe and I'm not microwave safe, but we make it work."

Explosion - "About the computer, try to remember the last three keys you pressed."

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

Online Dating for Dummies

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

'I'm good. How are you?'

Avoid talking about personal and domestic issues at interviews, unless asked.

Sulking

"What do you mean you quit? You're not even hired yet."

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

"You've lost what - your Mojo!"

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."