Recipe Novelist T-Shirts

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

Baker Romance

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

In the DNA Kitchen

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

Blog Breakdown

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

'It's amazing how many recipes you can find with courgettes in them when you have to'

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

10,000 Tasty Rabbit Recipes

Paul Bocuse caricature

'There are no search results for Pomeranian on the Foodnetwork.'

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.

Anthony Bourdain with Chopsticks

Chef makes a cook book.

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"I dreamed that butter and sugar and eggs came back, and we all made cookies."

"The recipe? Well, there's lentils, garlic, tofu, and a pinch of our illegal secret ingredient."

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I misplaced a decimal point in the cookbook.'

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"You don't use a cookbook, Tia Carmen?"

Cereal Development Dept...'Johnston! I don't think whistle, humm, and detonate is going to catch on at breakfast.'

Kitchen Consultations

Five seconds before the first turducken.