Recipe Failure Fan Pillows

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The invention of taxidermy."

Disaster in the kitchen.

It's all gravy.

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

Lumberjack's Epic Fail

'And this reaction releases a sufficient amount of energy to extract a teenager from his bed!'

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

'The molto randy refelled her genoise.'

Impossicle.

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"Mr. Saltee"

'Enough with the eye of newt. Do you know how many calories there are in newt eyes?'

'As a Potato & a Farmer he has a unique perspective on the GM issue.'

'Before I bring it in,darling-don't forget you married JANIE Oliver and not Jamie!'

"Iron Chef, my ass!"

'I have two colds. I'm taking aspirin for one, and hot tea with whisky for the other.'

'Today I discover fire, tonight she burns dinner.'

"Gesundheit!"

"My apologies, sir. Our chef forgot to take his beta-blocker."

'I told you she is a bad cook - that's just defrosting the chips.'

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

Hello?

Sloppy Joes.

'It's easy to remember - if it's steam she's ironing and if it's thick black smoke she's cooking.'

Orville was so close the landing the big accounts.

Family acid trip

Large box of baking soda in the morgue.

A man's instant camera picture falls into his soup.

'Butterfeet!'