Recession Humor Fans Gifts

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

'I think we're going to have to add another storey downstairs...'

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

We've been pre-approved by the credit card company to give them a loan.

'Until this economy thing straightens out, you'll be working out of your car.'

Red Ink: "Busy as a bee, Ted, given the niche we've cut out for ourselves."

'You know, you're a real piece of work, Al.'

Recession tips : think positively, remember the sky is not falling.

'Excuse me, sir, I know you didn't get your bonus, your house is mortgaged to the hilt, you have two kids in college, your employer is facing bankruptcy and . . .'

'In this economy, I don't say anything without first saying, in this economy...'

'Personally, I thin the downsizing went too far.'

Nation of Has-Beens (and Never-Will-Bes)

Ice cube selling penguin out of business.

Teddy's teacher wants to see us. She says he made disturbing comments in class. Odd. It's not like him. Tree's Trees. I don't know how to break this to you, but

'Since I lost my shirt on the stock market, I now only accept strong currency or gold bullion.'

'Sales of new homes are plummeting. I suggest we build old homes.'

'The way things are going in the building trade we are never going to be part of a demolition project in our life time.'

"What do you want to mention first, the senior defections, the profits warning or the aborted takeover talks?"

Vulture sitting on company profits graph.

Bankruptcy court

I need your help to hide a lot of money I just, um, came into. I'm sorry

"Inflation doesn’t seem so bad to me."

'I'm sorry, Rendleman - But in this economy we just can't justify a company poet.'

"I never knew you could have so much fun with a global debt bubble."

'You mean there's no money back guaranteed if I'm not satisfied?'

'We've experienced something of a recession, Mr. Bosworth, but it seems to have bottomed out.'

'Hey who approved all this stimulus money for basketball arenas.'

'What's the downturn done to your ho, ho, ho?'

'Three wishes? Dream on. That was in the heady days before venture capital and advertising revenue dried up.'

'So, how big was your 'Bail-Out' bonus?'

'Do you remember when we used to do the bump?'