Receipt Reviewer Pillows

"I make sure to tip just enough to keep the receipt from going viral."

Maybe clean out your wallet

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"I know your previous employer gave you an excellent reference, but you were self-employed."

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'Mistakes were made...'

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

"What - you got As in Maths, Nature, Science and English? Son, haven't you watched the news or looked online - if you want to succeed nowadays you have to be dumb as dirt!"

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

At the Penguin fishing school: 'Gunvald has set the bar kind of high, gang!'

'Straight A's. That means good.'

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

'I hope you kept the receipt.'

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

"What are they saying about you on Yelp?"

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

"It may not be a good report card but I'm working with the genes you dealt me."

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

Couple Waiting for Service

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

At least you got a 'works well with food grade' in lunchroom.

"You found another deductible receipt."

'An F in English, a C- in history, a D in arithmatic, an A+ in Sex Education!'

"Of course it's hard to understand. They wouldn't be billing 'codes' , if they were easy to decipher."

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

"It gets seven out of ten on TripAdvisor."

"This is an intervention. It's clear that you've resumed your habit of reading the reviews."

Is that it - ' smarter than he looks'?!