Receipt Geek Pillows

'Could I have a receipt for this please?'

The day the stock market went UP.

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

Maybe clean out your wallet

The Shrinking Dollar.

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"One question, what's a share option?"

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

I've found a loophole in your loophole

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

Warren Buffett

"Italy just bought France."

"I was sent on a fact finding mission. Now I'm accused of insider trading!"

Euro Bait

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield

Dangers of Inflationary Fiscal Policy

'Actually, we were hoping you could loan some money to us.'

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'Bit of an over reaction to a world-wide shortage of bismuth, don't you think?'

Investments: Remember, tis better to have loved money and lost, than never to have loved money at all.

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

Gulliver's Travails

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

'Psst. . . tell me about your 'obscene dividend' fund.'