Receipt Geek Prints

'Could I have a receipt for this please?'

The day the stock market went UP.

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

The Shrinking Dollar.

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"One question, what's a share option?"

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

"Italy just bought France."

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

Euro Bait

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

"I was sent on a fact finding mission. Now I'm accused of insider trading!"

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

Dangers of Inflationary Fiscal Policy

'Actually, we were hoping you could loan some money to us.'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

Investments: Remember, tis better to have loved money and lost, than never to have loved money at all.

'Bit of an over reaction to a world-wide shortage of bismuth, don't you think?'

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

'Psst. . . tell me about your 'obscene dividend' fund.'

'You've got to hand it to Fred. He doesn't worry about appearances.'