Reassurance Aficionado T-Shirts

'Everything will be ok. I promise... Let's discuss your payment options.'

The first car accident.

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

'Your father installed a security system.'

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

Someone has had a hard day!

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

'What do I do now? -- the company I buy my malpractice insurance from is being sued for malpractice!'