Reassurance Aficionado T-Shirts

'Everything will be ok. I promise... Let's discuss your payment options.'

The first car accident.

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

'Your father installed a security system.'

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

Clydesdale never misses a beat.

'What do I do now? -- the company I buy my malpractice insurance from is being sued for malpractice!'

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'