Trust Aficionado T-Shirts

"First you have to earn their trust."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

"We’d like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand for a handbag."

'What a day! Caught between a Wiki leak and a document dump.'

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'Slugger' Sims...Leader in: Home Runs, RBIs, Endorsement Deals.

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

"The biggest downside of funding IT startups... is being called 'dude'!"

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

'I prefer Brand X myself.'

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

Peace and Justice Return to the Joint High Commission

'I embrace diversity. Some of my friends use Androids, some have iPhones, and others use Blackberries.'

'I think I've spotted our problem.' (too many consultants)

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

Fearing insurance rate increases if he had another accident claim, Dave tries a new harness system.

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

"Try getting life insurance when scientists are always supplying you with tobacco."

"I hear you're the expert on loyalty."

'My astrologer says one thing, my guru says another, my psychiatrist says something else - I don't know who to turn to anymore.'

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

Galen Weston jr. comes clean.

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

"How much to insure my artifical leg?"