Reality Tv Critique Gifts

'Your honor, we find these proceedings to be MUCH less interesting than what we see on TV.'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

Derren Brown: Pushed to the Edge

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

"Am I through to the next round?"

America's funniest election gaffes

A couple decides what to watch.

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

'You're not being fired Jenkins. It's just that all our colleagues have booted you out of the company.'

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

'Oh No! Reality theatre.'

The big questions in life.

Piers Morgan.

The Mom quiz show

'You don't know how much it would mean to me if you could just jump.'