Realism Muser T-Shirts

"I dreamed Lucian Freud was coming to paint us."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

Changing Room Decisions

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

New from Low-Key Press.

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

"I have a list of downsides I'd like you to develop into a list of upsides."

"Say, why don't we go see the Hopper show at the Whitney?"

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

"I love it....but lose the bodies"

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

'I was happier when I was unhappy.'

'I'm going to have to let you go.'

Analyst has an ink blot on a card for a head.

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

Expectations vs. Bitterness

society of cartoonists...

Good golly! I'm some kind of bird!

'It's my dreams: I find them offensive.'

Gustave Flaubert

Barbershop customer's reflection mocks his haircut.