Realism Lover T-Shirts

Your portraits are so realistic.

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

Tired Barbie

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

New from Low-Key Press.

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Now at this point reality intruded."

"I have a list of downsides I'd like you to develop into a list of upsides."

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

Inbox and Outbox

"Say, why don't we go see the Hopper show at the Whitney?"

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

'I'm going to have to let you go.'

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

"I dreamed Lucian Freud was coming to paint us."

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

'That's the sign of a good painting!'

Expectations vs. Bitterness

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Gustave Flaubert

"It was love at first sight, but spectacles have improved a lot since then."