Real-world Experience Enthusiast Gifts

'School of hard knocks.'

Reach for the Star.

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'What'll I do with the nuclear wastes?'

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

An angry Scientist has discovered his two Lab' mice are using a GPS to find their way through a maze to some cheese.

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

'Okay I admit it - we probably do need a rocket scientist.'

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

Undercover Biophysicists

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'I thoguht they only tested drugs on guinea pigs.'

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'Here's one I made earlier.'

Employment Agency. I didn't hire him -- Those bipedal guys are are afraid to get their hands dirty.

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

Galileo's Attempt to discover is heavier dog falls faster than lighter dog.

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

'Louis Pasteur, after discovering that microbes transmitted disease, experimented with methods for killing them'

We learn by doing

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

"For you young scientists who hope to do public service work someday, the following six experiments, showing the basic ideas behind chemical warfare...."

Scientist to other: 'That's the saddest hypothesis I've ever heard!'

Mouse with map exiting maze.

Mad scientist holding bubbling flask in lab