Life Experience Enthusiast Gifts

'I see from your CV that you have a first class degree from the School of Hard Knocks'

'If I major in criminology, can I get life experience credit?'

'I'm what you can't learn at Harvard Business school.'

Reach for the Star.

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'School of hard knocks.'

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

"My husband's the academic. I just like to travel. I'm more of a pandemic."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

We learn by doing

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

"As for the meaning of life, it doesn't have to suck."

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

Women

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

"Well, it's funny, Sid. Every time I've got onr foot in the grave, something interesting happens, so I pull it back out again!"

Life is about the chase, not the ball. Now go get it!

Be prepared - Don't jump to confusion.

'Short brown hair. Very cuddly, good in bed.'

"I can't wait 'til we're so close we don't have to talk."

'So, just how long were you at the School of Hard Knocks?'

'Of course you're my first - Why do you men always ask that question?'

"Don't think of it as being grounded. Think of it as suffering the consequences of your monumental stupidity."

Ernie's a procrastinator who lives life to the fullest --- He lives each day as if it's his next-to-last!

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining