Life Experience Collector Gifts

'Let me guess, a graduate of the 'school of hard knocks'?'

"Bob managed a good retirement, saw a thing or two."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

The only way to see the world is to see the world

Heading off with a packed bag

Tunnel of Whale Guts

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"Well, now we've seen it."

"Oh, no! My bucket list!"

We learn by doing

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

Women

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

'Beer? Wassat then?'

Odd Spas

Who's Dead

"Travel changed me."

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

'I wonder if I should add this to my resume.'

"I don't look at it as bouncing from job to job, I'm merely gaining a broad base of experience."

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

'Have you got to have a Gimmick.'

'So, just how long were you at the School of Hard Knocks?'

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: Never trust someone who tries to sell you nine life insurance policies.

'We're going to have to pass on the painting - but we'll take a case of this wine!'

"Whoa, whoa, big guy with all your ‘meaning of life’ mumbo jumbo—I just want my kid to pick up her room."

'I'm what you can't learn at Harvard Business school.'

"Baldo, we all learn from our mistakes. When I played baseball, a fly ball popped up right above me. If I caught it, we'd win...if I dropped it, we'd lose."

'If I were you, I'd start doing those things on your 'Things to do before you die' list.'

We only go around once, but it can be quite the loop-de-loop!

We only go round once, but it can be quite the loop-de-loop! (Published originally on December 21, 2013.)

'How could you have thirty years of experience when you're only twenty?'

Homeless man's sign: 'Will sell book & movie rights to the story of my downfall for a cool million.'