Life Experience Enthusiast Pillows

'I see from your CV that you have a first class degree from the School of Hard Knocks'

'If I major in criminology, can I get life experience credit?'

'I'm what you can't learn at Harvard Business school.'

Reach for the Star.

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'School of hard knocks.'

"My husband's the academic. I just like to travel. I'm more of a pandemic."

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

We learn by doing

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

Women

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"Well, it's funny, Sid. Every time I've got onr foot in the grave, something interesting happens, so I pull it back out again!"

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

Be prepared - Don't jump to confusion.

"I can't wait 'til we're so close we don't have to talk."

'Short brown hair. Very cuddly, good in bed.'

"Don't think of it as being grounded. Think of it as suffering the consequences of your monumental stupidity."

'Of course you're my first - Why do you men always ask that question?'

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining

'So, just how long were you at the School of Hard Knocks?'

'I'm retiring because my doctor advised me to slow down and spend my money.'

"I lost 5 pounds and you didn't even notice!"