Real-time Meal Movers Gifts

"Just so it won't confuse you - the meal I've just called you for is in real time; the programme you're watching is a repeat."

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

Your Dinner Is In The Potato Skin

Real Fast Food.

'I've got a tight schedule.'

"Since when is 'Broccoli man' a superhero?"

'Pre-washed and pre-cooked I'm okay with but lovingly chewed by devoted carers.....'

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business

'We're having leftover-a-la-king!'

Who wants to say grace? Grace! Ames! Would you please show the kids how it's done? Ok. Thank you. That's it? I could have said that! Amen.

Wordplay: Road Rage

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

"This batch of Witch's Brew is vegan. The eye of newt and toe of frog are plant-based."

'I wish I had eaten all that bread.'

'For the instant mashed potatoes, the head and serve puddings, the canned cranberry sauce, the defrost and serve pumpkin pie and the delivered roast turkey, we are truly thankful.'

'Just as I suspected - cheating on our diet!'

'He gets a napkin. I don't get a napkin.'

'Call it your just desserts for being a dirty old man!'

Efficiency, personal: Always have a good breakfast...

Boil in the bag food is convenient, but the bag's a little underdone.

'He did?'

Baldo's Life is Sweet Moment: Not getting the last serving of your tia's lengua casserole.

"Now that everyone in New York eats at 6, we need to eat at 3."

'Hello, chef, could you make that steak rare, after all?'

'This is an emergency, get me meals on wheels...'

Chinese meals on wheels