Real Estate Joker Gifts

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

Mouse real estate!

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"We've got a new financial advisor. I asked him how to cut down on out of pocket expenses and he said to stop wearing clothes with pockets."

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

"Efficiency tombs available"

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

Estate Agents: Executive Homes

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

"Come climate change, you could find yourself sitting beach-front on the French riviera."

'It mostly scares the realtors.'

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

"As president of the tenants' association, I have to inform you that our list of grievances has been eaten."

"We figured why not make some money while we migrate south."

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

'Here's the 2 acres of beachfront property you bought - too bad it's only six inches wide.'

"Tell me more about Armageddon. I think it may have potential as an exchange-traded fund."

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

'I'm so glad I moved into this basement flat Mary. It's put me on the property ladder and the neighbours are so friendly!'

'The only way you can become a millionaire by investing in savings accounts, is to invest millions in savings accounts.'