Real Estate Braggers Gifts

"Our wind corridor is second to none."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

"Mom, could we stay in my old room until we're able to afford a place of our own?"

"It's cute that yours has a Fire Island share, mine has the East Hampton Dream House."

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Igloo sales

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

Turtle Home

'Well, yes... The cellar IS a bit damp. But therefore the rent is really low!'

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

The King and His Real Estate Advisors

For Sale By Owner

"This is my 'country house.' I also have a duplex in the city."

For Sale

"Like I told you Gladys: location, location, location."

"No pressure, but I do have another couple who are very interested."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

'The meaning of life is location,location,location.'

'Wow, they certainly know how to hide their poverty!'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

Real Estate Crispy Flakes: Location/Location/ Location

'Tut. Now I suppose we'll have to hear all about her holiday!'

"Well, you know what they say...geo-location, geo-location, geo-location!"

'Look, they're slowing down.'

This is our proposal for your new housing development. We've chosen to call it The Meadows.

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

"Did I mention it needed a little work?"

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"

'I can't afford to move, so I'm having an extension done.'