Real Estate Braggers T-Shirts

"Our wind corridor is second to none."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

"It's cute that yours has a Fire Island share, mine has the East Hampton Dream House."

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Igloo sales

'Well, yes... The cellar IS a bit damp. But therefore the rent is really low!'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

Turtle Home

The King and His Real Estate Advisors

For Sale

"Like I told you Gladys: location, location, location."

For Sale By Owner

"This is my 'country house.' I also have a duplex in the city."

"No pressure, but I do have another couple who are very interested."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

'The meaning of life is location,location,location.'

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'Wow, they certainly know how to hide their poverty!'

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

Real Estate Crispy Flakes: Location/Location/ Location

'Look, they're slowing down.'

"Did I mention it needed a little work?"

This is our proposal for your new housing development. We've chosen to call it The Meadows.

"Well, you know what they say...geo-location, geo-location, geo-location!"

'Tut. Now I suppose we'll have to hear all about her holiday!'

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"

Couple in sunglasses begging with a sign that reads - 'Holiday Homeless - Please help'.

'I can't afford to move, so I'm having an extension done.'