Reading Survival Guides Gifts

'Ooops - here it says 'FIRST cross the desert, THEN eat your camel'...'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

"You need to justify your own existence first."

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

That's actually the gorilla survival manoeuvre. . .

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

'I hate evolution!'

The trap

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

Magazine stand in middle of the desert.

Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

After 73 days, the coconut would finally be his.

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

"Avoiding something, aren't we?"

Desert Island Books

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

Self-realization.

"Have you tried spending time with friends who are worse off?"

'Michelle, this is your brother, Paul, do you copy? Over...Paul to Michelle, do you read me?...'

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

By camouflaging himself, Ed was able to avoid being a victim of the company's massive layoffs.

'Some more great camouflage of the insect world.'

Girl focusing on one negative comment using telescope.

'No thank you, I'm on a diet: I've noticed that the fat ones disappear first...'

Emergency book: 'How To Cope With Stress'.

'I think it's for compliance with some Federal safety regulation.'

"You feel like a fake? Man, I wrote the book on faking it. Not really, but that's what I tell everyone."

Mr. Low Self-Esteem Man

'Another one. Do you realize that will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Come with me. Things are tough around here and somebody may want to eat you.

Chicken soup books.