Reading Newsletters Gifts

"No need to push...most of it will be in the staff newsletter!"

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

"I've seen a tulip before."

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

American Venn diagram

The birth of junk mail.

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

"Are those my slippers?!"

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

"God has chosen to ignore my prayers concerning the outcome of this year's election, and so I feel that I am once again free to be a very bad little boy."

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

'Nothing's happened today-read it dead slowly.'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."

"Reading the Sunday Funnies 'religiously' does not count as worship."

We have the largest menu in town, complete with a personals and classified section.

"Papers late again, Murphy?"

'I'm beginning to worry -- everything I've got is tied up in investment newsletters!'

"That's his idea of multi-tasking."

"The meetings' minutes can be read in the newspaper's police report..."

"There's a red light at the end of the tunnel."

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

"He just woke up from hibernation."

The Honorable Mr. Kim meets the disgraceful Mr. Trump.

"Is that a piano?"

'Sometimes I think I spoil you Tiddles!'

'Man eater?! No way, it was just a nibble!'