Reading Newsletters Prints

"No need to push...most of it will be in the staff newsletter!"

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

"I've seen a tulip before."

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

American Venn diagram

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

"Are those my slippers?!"

The birth of junk mail.

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

'Nothing's happened today-read it dead slowly.'

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

"God has chosen to ignore my prayers concerning the outcome of this year's election, and so I feel that I am once again free to be a very bad little boy."

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

We have the largest menu in town, complete with a personals and classified section.

"Reading the Sunday Funnies 'religiously' does not count as worship."

"Papers late again, Murphy?"

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."

'I'm beginning to worry -- everything I've got is tied up in investment newsletters!'

"That's his idea of multi-tasking."

"Is that a piano?"

Dog responding to his master doing a crossword.

"The meetings' minutes can be read in the newspaper's police report..."

'Sometimes I think I spoil you Tiddles!'

Daddy finished his review of your Christmas Newsletter.

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

'Man eater?! No way, it was just a nibble!'

The Honorable Mr. Kim meets the disgraceful Mr. Trump.

"There's a red light at the end of the tunnel."